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Steve Jobs: This era's Nostradamus.

Balmer is a toy boy. He couldn't beat his way out of a paper bag.

Says a lot about the man and the company.

Now we can start a new saying for someone who throws a fit in an office room: "The boss just threw a "Ballmer!" "

It is great to have MS distracted by Google - that leaves room for Apple to take ground from Windows. Clearly MS is distracted and can't get anything done.

too many fires, too many fronts. MS can not be everything to everyone

Balmer has serious personality issues.

Lightenup man otherwise youre gonna be dead in a few years! (on second thoughts - don't...)

This is the same sort of talk documented at Microsoft in the 90s when execs would say things like "Cut off their oxygen supply" (their vow to obliterate Netscape).

Somebody might want to pull Baby GUI (get it?) aside and remind him that these quotes can and will be used against him in further antitrust cases.

Now we know it's not about money, it's about power and domination.

He wants to kill... oh, sorry, f---ing kill Google?

MS has a new slogan....

Microsoft: The world leading producer of crappy products and power-hungry nutjobs.

i think Ballmer is kinda sexy. I bet he smells like bacon when undressed.

The two "Steves" mentioned here couldn't be any more different: On the one hand Jobs is a visionary. Able to "reinvent" himself or "bifurcate" into higher and higher levels of personal and professional attainment.

The other? Steve 'Monkey Boy' Ballmer obviously only operates off his brain stem. The kind of fool that in a real fight would be swatted like an insect. No wonder MSFT has been flat.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish". Proverbs 29:18


Ah, rock on Steve!

If I were sitting in Ballmer's office and saw those large sweat circles under his armpits, I 'd probably run for some Right Guard before he had a chance to throw office furniture at me. Who knows what he might start throwing next, maybe his own feces in true monkey boy fashion ?

This is exactly how M$ became an illegal monopoly. Not really the best strategy when it comes to "innovating" to stay on top!

Steve Ballmer... I've never seen Uncle fester that psychotic, someone should tell him to sit down, shut up the f**k up and behave before he hurts himself.

There's a certain celeb status that comes with being Steve Jobs — an attribute that I could even see being aptly applied to Bill Gates simply because he is so well known. But the contrast between even Gates and Ballmer leaves the questions: "Why would Ballmer be ushered onstage with an introduction fit for a celebrity? And why would he kick off a keynote as if he WERE a celeb?"

I mean, Gates was shrewd and clever, and his success alone makes him a star of sorts. Ballmer is just a shirt, with a colorless history. Read his bio. What a bore.

Ballmer is extremely fortunate to be in the position that he's in. I liken him to Van Halen's Michael Anthony: the luckiest bass player in the history of rock — because he's hardly a bass player, but he's been invited along for the ride.

"too many fires, too many fronts. MS can not be everything to everyone"

You're right. They can't be everything to everyone, but they certainly seem determined to try.

I only hope they keep it up. It's the surest route to their self-demise.

whatever. MS is doom nowadays. it's time that Steve ballmer must go away. most advanced company has most dumb ass CEO ever.

From TFA: "In a statement, Ballmer described Lucovsky's recollection as a 'gross exaggeration.'"

Sounds like Ballmer was upset that Lucovsky didn't "give it up" for him.

/who said sit down?

Sing with me Steve Balmer

"I feel pretty..."
"Oh so pretty..."
"I feel pretty and witty and gay,"
"And I pitty,"
"Any girl who isnt me today,"
"La la la la la la la la"

Serious Question: who do you think would win a food fight between Rob "i like them glazed" Glaser and Steve "the monkey boy" Ballmer?

Steve Ballmer threw a chair?

No, Steve Ballmer threw a hissy-fit.

I don't think Steve Ballmer is going to have a heart attack. I think one day his head will explode.

Inside there will be candy and toys and the children of Redmond will celebrate.

Sounds like both Steves - J and B - are high strung.

Where's the 'MS Peanut Gallery'? No protracted, circular-logic arguements?

-

Q: What happens when you give 8 billion dollars to a sociopathic monkeyman?

A: He turns into 'Dancin' Ballmer'.

-

I guess, Ballmer was doing what came natural for his species - he was 'throwing his shit around'!

I'm trying out this new material.

"Chair hurling Microsoft CEO Ballmer: 'I'm going to killing fsck Google'"

Nah, fsck it. Doesn't work.

Monkey boy Ballmer needs to sit down before he has a stroke, however, like many gout ridden kings of olde, it probable wouldn't be a bad thing when he's gone.

Do an image search on Google for Uncle Fester and you'll find a picture of Balmer on the third row.

Funny enough, the page's URL comes from Microsoft.com website itself. hahaha

Good one Google.

...unless you're scared?

Maybe MS won't be on top forever.

I have never seen monkey boy dance until now, and it was a frightening experience to say the least.

Jeff,

Nice.

MS has already lost to Google. If MS truly had a "Google killer" in the works, temper tantrums wouldn't be necessary.

Anyway I say let the humor unfold. Resources thrown at Google means opportunities to chip away at MS on other fronts.

I guess Ballmer was having a psychosis episode once again.

He probably hallucinated that the chair was singing "Get on your feet" to him, and he went bananas!

OMG is that video for real? What a d*ckhead.

Well Stevie Ballicker is a wack job anyway. I remember a few years ago his buddy Billy Bob Gates said that he was going to "cut Apple's air off" (or words to that effect.)
We'll see how this shakes out. Stay tuned to MDN for all the details.

bacon...
i used to like bacon...

Here…just thought this one up!
"I'm Steve Ballmer! I've got a shiney bald head, bad breath, a vacant stare and serious anger issues! Where's my tech supporter???"
Safe to say that he's off his tablets again….

That guy is kinda like Howard Dean. It would be funny if someone did a mashup of his screaming and yelling in the monkey boy video.

MW: Window...how ironic.

Steve Ballmer, #1 liability for Microsoft. Someone needs to remove this guy from the computer industry and also from operating any heavy machinery. When some CEOs have no solution they revert back to childhood. Glad I didn't know him as a child either. He should step aside and let someone with some real talent take over.

It's good to know there are companies like Apple and Google around. Otherwise computing would still be stuck in 1984 before the SuperBowl.

I don't Microsoft has what it takes to bring Google down. As long as Google plays nice in the cross-platform arena, Microsoft is toast in the overall computer world in which we compute!

I despise Bill Gates, Microsoft, and everything they stand for: crappy products, indifference to security issues, "hardball" business tactics that are tantamount to extortion, and a complete inability to innovate.

Yet somehow, after I stop laughing at the infamous "Monkey-boy" video (it truly never gets old), I almost find myself feeling sorry for ol' Bill. Almost. Nah, they deserve each other.

Yep, M$ is in the beginning stages of death-spiral from their lofty perch dominating the personal computer industry for the last 15 years. Obviously, I am heartily cheered by this development.

Others here have said it very well: M$'s own size has finally proven to be its undoing. They cannot effectively compete with Apple OS X in operating systems, Google in web services (and who knows what else?), Linux in open-source apps of high quality, etc.

I'm reminded of a huge lumbering brontosaurus being slowly ripped apart by packs of nimble, warm-blooded mammals: namely, the "wolves" that MonkeyBoy made reference too.

It's a glorious sight. May M$ die a swift and painful death.


Marty


PS. Michael Anthony may not be on the genius level like Eddie VH, but he's at least as good as 99% of all rock bass players. Plus, from everything I've ever heard, he's not an a**hat like Eddie and his brother.

Good God...

http://suzansworld.com/bilder/balmer_developers.jpg

Sorry about the non-link.

http://www.suzansworld.com/bilder/balmer_developers.jpg

damn...

Hey MDN, how about giving us a preview button so we can avoid reposting mistakes.

Thanks.

Well I don't like most of what MS makes, but even I know that Gates is the leader of the company, not Ballmer.. I think alot of their problems (and SJ talked about the 'salesman' thing which is in line w this) stem from that.. people listen to Ballmer talk and it's not products.. it's sales

The challenges facing MS exceed top management's ability to manage them. Of course, its always been this way at MS. But in the past they used their monopoly to force competitors to genuflect at Billie's altar, doing away with the need for effective management.

This company is imploding under the weight of its own ineptitude.

Apple is going to hit 10% share in the next 3 - 4 years. When that happens 1 in 10 users will be using Macs. Finding someone that owns/uses Mac won't be as rare as just a couple of years ago when the ratio was 1 in 40. 10% is critical mass, and MSFT doesn't have the strength of product to stop it.

all I can say is...

developers, developers, developers, developers, developers...

LOL!

Dance Monkey Boy - let the world's press laugh at you one more time!!!

"Steve Ballmer, #1 liability for Microsoft. Someone needs to remove this guy from the computer industry"

I'd venture that nobody at MS has the balls to stand up to him. As long as the momentum-money (current Windows and Office) keeps rolling in he will run the show completely unchecked.

MS is festering, and their market share is vulnerable & nearly ripe for the taking. The next few years promise to be very interesting. "Developers! Developers! Developers!"?? Ballmer, things are developing all right...

Intelligent Design: iPod, Mac OS....

Nature Gone Wrong: Ballmer; Gone Right: Jobs.

Thank God for the US Army. Because you can't thank him for Katrina, eh?

He'll freaking kill Google, if he doesn't have a stroke first...

Great comparison... I bow to your greatness sir

Hey MacMania - You said "Hand Jobs" - good one