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A turd rots from all over ... and stinks. Like this asshat.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:04 pm Comment from: JAYGEE

Bye Steve Jobs. We will miss you

Well, if Apple haven't told Daniel Lyons what the succession plan is, it's obvious they simply don't have one.

I think if Jobs was dying and on a respirator, he would still be running the company from the hospital bed.

No way this is correct.

Fear Uncertainty Doubt
Mr. Jobs is a truly charismatic and visionary leader, and has put AAPL on course to outstanding success. The board of directors know that a succession plan is needed and they must have one already.

And it would take a truly stupid leader to put the ship on the rocks within the next two or three years. What stock is predicated on the eternal life of the head honcho? And who thinks Microsoft is going to improve on OS X in the near future? FUD indeed.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:11 pm Comment from: Randian

" . . . I'll be shocked."

A few of the electro-convulsive kind would be more than a little appropriate here, methinks.

Too many inches of column space, to many web pages/blogs, too many morons willing to fill both.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:11 pm Comment from: Andy

Good God!

Wasn't there another Forbes article today about Steve's 'imminent departure' from the company?

Here's a thought to all those two bit 'pundits' out there. Steve will do what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants. He will retire when it suits him, and only him.

He will come down to your office and hit you with an iBaseball bat when it suits him, and only him.

This junk about Steve is starting to seem like a concerted campaign to shake up investors, putting doubt in their minds and eroding confidence in Apple's future.

Guess who were famous for using similar tactics to manipulate the population? The nazis!

1. it would be illegal to lie to shareholders about the health of a CEO of a publicly traded company.

2. Jobs and his board are too smart and care too much about the company to not have a succession plan in the works.

3. The succession plan will be laid out months to years before Jobs steps down, whenever that may be.

"He will come down to your office and hit you with an iBaseball bat when it suits him, and only him."

Sorry, that only worked for Evel Knievel.....

Gates started digging Microsofts grave the same day he hired Steve "Monkeyman" Balmer...

What a Jackass.

Steve loves Apple like Bear Bryan loved Bama. Someday he'll leave, but for him to do so in the foreseeable. i.e., next 3-5 years would not bode well for his longevity on the planet.

Lyon's subterranean glee at this prospect is troubling, dark, and probably has its seed in the fact that he's a bit disgruntled at only being a "Fake Steve."

Apple's Clintonesque relationship with the truth is just that, Clintonesque, the hallmark of which is plausible deniability. If Steve were of ill health, the company would not have stated definitively that Steve was fighting a bug but otherwise fine. To do otherwise gets you impeached when president and Sued into the stone-age if a company. Apple isn't that stupid.

So, Mr. Lyons, please take your Ghoulish fixation with Mr. Job's health back to the dark regions from whence it came. Perhaps you could do with a bit of couch time where you can come to grips with the fact that your impact on consumer electronics has been less than Mr. Jobs.

I know mine certainly has, but I revel is the imagination of those such as Ive and Jobs and don't feel the need to wish them into early graves.

Heck...I bet my kids love me more than his do...or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:23 pm Comment from: Andy

Perhaps Apple's next trick should be to invent nanomachines that allow the user to become immortal...

Or, they could hook up Steve to a 8 core 16TB RAM MacPro via FireWire 800 and download his consciousness into the machine. So then, at MacWorld, the WWDC and board meetings, a tech could wheel in a 30 inch Apple Cinema Display and Steve's 'face' would float inside it!

Why are you saying bye Steve Jobs?

And what are you worried about? Get a life!

I'll echo Passerby, above. Just because Apple hasn't revealed their succession plan doesn't mean that "Apple has recklessly avoided setting in place a succession plan."

Daniel Lyons is arrogant to assume that what he does not know does not exist.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:26 pm Comment from: HMCIV

I'm shocked Daniel ‘Fake Steve Jobs’ Lyons is still writing! I give him less than a year.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:27 pm Comment from: iamdj

Man, this dude needs a life.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:28 pm Comment from: Andy

@Falkirk

He's probably convinced beyond all doubt the earth is flat, too. Oh, and that spaghetti grows on trees.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:29 pm Comment from: iamdj

BTW, having a salesman like Balmer run a company like MS is actually the perfect choice.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:34 pm Comment from: Andy

Oh, and the REAL Steve Jobs actually has his own blog - it's an .mac page complete with a photo gallery and a CV.

However, it hasn't been updated since sometime in 2001 or 2003.

Whaaaa? MDN? The Monkey Dance isn't original?

Jul 03, 08 - 03:37 pm Comment from: Big Al

I hope this asshole is just talking out his hat, as usual.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:43 pm Comment from: Tergenev

So how does a 'Clintonesque' relationship to the truth compare to a GWBushesque relationship to the truth? One is based on wishful thinking and the other based on stupidity and mean-ness? Just curious.

As for whether Jobs will still be at Apple by the end of the year, we shall see, I suppose. But I suspect that the Jobsian magic and it's associated Reality-Distortion Field is going to have a hard time surviving the way this economy is going right now. Remember, lots of great, well-designed products didn't survive the 1920s.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:45 pm Comment from: Not Bill

"Jobso" How disrespectful. It is "El Jobso." And, they will pry Apple from his cold, dead hands many, many years from now. God willing.

You'd look sick too if you stayed up day and night working non-stop to put out a product that will hopefully harold in the next era of personal computing ON TIME - something Faker Dan and his kind have never experienced (hard work). Sounds like some people on Wall Street and Co., with their mouthpieces are purposely trying manipulate the stock market. Why doesn't the Justice Department. look into this?

Jul 03, 08 - 03:54 pm Comment from: nekogami13

Jobs is not stupid-even this article points that out.
Not being stupid or insane-would Jobs not have a well laid out road map for product development?

Would Jobs not have surrounded himself with top execs who were capable of learning from him, maybe none of them by themselves replacing him but by combined effort steering the ship in the right direction?

This and other articles like this are FUD.

Jul 03, 08 - 03:59 pm Comment from: Metryq

20 pounds of shite in a 10 pound bag.

"cushion a decline in originality"

When has MS ever been original? Everything they make came from somewhere else! Sure, they twisted it all into lesser versions of the originals, but that doesn't make the results original.

Yeah, just look at the round of so-called 'industry leaders' -- Ellison, Gates, Ballsmear, Dellweed, and Seidenberg (Verizon) -- they all look healthy -- healthily nice and FAT, their brains probably all filled with grease and alcohol by now too. That's probably why they haven't come up with anything original in 2 decades while Jobs keep inventing the Next Big Thing. If Steve Jobs was British he'd be Knighted already or declared a National LIving Treasure like they do for artists in Japan. Instead we have Forbes and guesspeculation.

Faker Dan is right about one thing -- Steve Jobs is one of a kind. That's why he would never figure out what the Real Steve would do next.

Jul 03, 08 - 04:09 pm Comment from: eMax

"The sad truth is this: Without Jobs, Apple will never be the same."



This is true. But just because its not the same doesnt mean its going to be bad... It could be better.....

Jul 03, 08 - 04:11 pm Comment from: Buster

" If Jobso is still running Apple at year-end, I'll be shocked."

I hope he gets electrocuted. What kind of writer modifies peoples names with a -so suffix????

Twit

You can smell the flop sweat of the Microsoft Mediocrity Cult. They see the iPhone coming, and they don't like it one bit, not one bit. It'll do for Apple what the iPod has done: weaned people away from Microsoft Mediocrity.

The snot slime are making every effort to keep Jobs's health front and center, cause they got nothing else.

Jul 03, 08 - 04:19 pm Comment from: Roberto

@ Andy:

Mmmmm, tree-spaghetti...

Forbes, Fortune, and most of the Business press rarely get anything right on Apple or their fortunes and FSJ drinks from the same fountain.

"iCal'ed." ha ha.

He'll still be in situ, don't you worry. But I do like the idea of him having a good long handover period during which he can help guide the new hand on the tiller. Perhaps in a couple of years or more time.

Another thing: as APPL is now 63% of the value of MSFT, I can't see him wanting to go before that 63 becomes something in excess of 100... That would be THE ultimate last laugh.

"Well, if Apple haven't told Daniel Lyons what the succession plan is, it's obvious they simply don't have one."

Great line there Passerby!

And Massacre, your point is silly. Apple has the most loyal and satisfied customer base on the planet. To not have noticed suggests you live on another planet... Oh, and swindling is an activity associated with Microsoft, as proved in law of course.

Jul 03, 08 - 04:48 pm Comment from: MacFhearghaile

Steve Jobs brain will be hooked in to a control unit called Landrew, just like Star Trek, and Apple will rule the world forever. Long live Landrew!

Won't happen.

Unless Steve croaks, any succession announcement wouldn't be made until something like MWSF, which is in 2009. Be shocked, sir.

Under Ballmer, Microsoft is enduring one of the worst times in its history... Considering how bad things have been lately, you might almost argue that Gates' departure could be a boon, a chance for some fresh thinking," Lyons writes. "Except look who he's left in charge.

We do gotta give Lyons credit for getting that much right.

Steve Jobs brain will be hooked in to a control unit called Landrew

A few years ago the WSJ had an article caricature of Jobs in a Buzz Lightyear suit. Wouldn't it be something if....

Mr. Lyons must be looking to manipulate AAPL stock for personal gain, since stock traders are apparently skittishly influenced by whatever tripe the blogosphere is churning over on any given day.

Must be nice to have such a big mouthpiece to do one's stock manipulating from, eh?

Jul 03, 08 - 05:04 pm Comment from: ericdano

Actually, the Mayans predicted Steve's retirement.....in 2012.....which is also the supposed end of the world......and it would be if Jobs leaves.

Yes he's looking weight, but he doesn't have to be dying. He could be overworked because of a totally new product in the pipeline, or maybe changed his diet, or maybe even taking drugs cos he does have a history. In any case there are so many reasons all of which are better and more probable than imminent death.

Shame on you Fake Steve Jobs. What goes around comes around. Speculating about someone's health in order to get 'clicks' is a very dangerous game. There is no doubt you are 'fake'. You need to take a good close look in the mirror.

Jul 03, 08 - 07:02 pm Comment from: Arnold Ziffel

I wish goobers like Daniel Lyons would just shut their flapping trap.

Never had the desire to read FSJ--much prefer hearing the real SJ.

Why even listen to this guy? Ignore him like you do Rob Enderle and he will go away.

Jul 03, 08 - 09:41 pm Comment from: BC Kelly

"But Apple has recklessly avoided setting in place a succession plan."

Really ?

And that's known how ?



BC

Hmmmm

I suppose if Lyons is still doing FSJ by the end of the year, we'll all be shocked.

Just think, without the fake persona he'd be nobody.

Maybe in addition to being Fake Steve, he is also Fake Daniel.

"Clintonesque relationship to the truth?! Bill Clinton was a mere footnote by current administration standards. And while Apple's pr can sometimes be described as tight-lipped, they are not dishonest.

Jobs' appearance is perfectly described as a possible consequence of the "Whipple procedure" he underwent. Johns Hopkins notes that in such cases, although they may be thin "the overall quality of life of long-term survivors of the surgery is nearly comparable to that of healthy people." (Fortune Apple 2.0 blog, June 13)

If Jobs' cancer had returned, he would have only months or weeks left to run the company. Why then would he stand before the World at the developers' conference and then insist that he is healthy? That's a rhetorical question.

Jobs does not jawbone the products or the stock; he lets the results do the talking. He's doing the same thing here.

Hmmm, could this a subtle parody of the usual "Jobs is goner, sell your AAPL stock now!" drivel that has been spewing out of Wall Street since WWDC? Lyons strikes me a too bright to resort to a me-too cheap shot. Maybe his boss gave him the line and he's subtly sabotaging it?

Jul 04, 08 - 02:36 am Comment from: Random Coolzip

I look forward to seeing video of Lyons being Tasered on January 1st, 2009 per his offer.

I propose a retirement race. Who retires first— Fake Steve Jobs or Steve Jobs? By the way, the name of the company is Apple, Inc, not Steve Jobs, Inc. Wall Street shot Enron into the stratosphere. They'll do what they do. Apple will survive and thrive now and in the future. Steve Jobs' vision is Apple's culture. His retirement would be a loss, but his vision is shared and the culture will live on. Wall Street will piss there pants and prop up companies with no profit and no real products, but innovation will out. Lyons will leave Forbes long before Jobs leaves Apple.