“Everyone thinks that the iPhone is going to be the next major computing platform. Some even hope that it will replace the laptop as the primary PC platform. And what if it does? What are folks going to do when they spill coffee on their iPhones? They’ve already done a lot worse–they drop them into toilets over and over. PodShow’s Adam Curry lamented having this happen to him, as did Leo Laporte on a TWiT podcast,” John C. Dvorak opines for PC Magazine.
“And these devices are poised to become the next desktop replacement platform? Splash. Splash. Splash,” Dvorak writes repetitively.
“What’s worse is that people leave these little devices everywhere,” Dvorak explains. “And, generally speaking, they leave them all over the place unlocked and with limited encryption enabled. The ease with which someone can steal these things and rob the data is a little ridiculous. I cannot tell you how often I’ve shouted the words, ‘Hey, you left your phone!'”
Dvorak bloviates, “And, yes, the kids are all looking for alternative platforms, but what do kids know? Seriously, what do they know?”
Full article, Think Before You Click™, here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers too numerous to mention for the heads up.]
Andy Rooney does the luddite curmudgeon act much better than you, John.
As a soothsayer, John fares even worse:
The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a mouse. There is no evidence that people want to use these things. – John Dvorak, February 1984
I’d advise you to cover your eyes. You’re not going to like what you’ll see.– John Dvorak, advising Apple to “pull the plug on the iPhone,” March 2007
John Dvorak admits to baiting Mac users for hits:
Direct link to video via YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAWDYaWAVQQ
At least they’re safer in earthquakes than iMacs!
He’s really reaching for coverage.
Time to retire, Dvorak.
So, this lard ass gas bag is still running his flapper, making an ass out of himself?
Stop reading anything this sphincter writes long ago. Hopefully, this bloated has-been will go away and die..
Sounds more like a couple of microsoft dweebs lamenting about a zune in the toilet so dvomit changes things a little bit. Loser!
Just wait & see Dvorak, just wait & see.
@ Over the Hill Dvorak:
Dvorak’s time to retire was over 20 years ago…
A new definition for the word ‘desperate’
The iPhone is clearly the next mobile platform. Websites are already seeing page views near 5 percent for iPhone and iPod Touch.
MacSoftwareList.com
Dovorak
Your problem with the iPhone is not the phone, you can’t pick your nose and use the same finger on the iPhone screen.
“What are folks going to do when they spill coffee on their iPhones?”
Um, the same thing they do when they spill coffee on their laptop?
What an imbecile.
What a moroon! — Bugs Buny
I luv Dvorak…
because he knows there are more FANatics out there than supporters.
The Apple supportes ignore and use their heads.
The “Fans” fall for his stuff everytime. I lactually luv reading the postings from idiots at MDN who respond to him.
Same with Enderle.
The idiots are paying for those guys holidays and perks.
And I say more power to them.
I just will not write to them.
I ain’t helping pay for anything these guys get.
Peace…in the middle east.
F1 Mikal
Is this really what he has come to? Debating minutia? I think this article is actually wonderful. It clearly shows Dvorak has nothing to bring to the table. In his next article, he debates the pros and cons of using a spray on vs. solid deodorant…
Seriously, in 1984 there was no evidence that people would use a mouse. Outside of a few Xerox employees, a couple of academics and the Apple and Microsoft employees working on the Mac project, who had even seen a mouse?
Yes, Microsoft was there at the start making great software for the Mac. It took years of practice for Microsoft to make software for Windows and Mac that sucked.
what an asshole !
Mac users have had it easy; Dvorak has been so wrong for so long about so much more on the Windows side of things than probably anyone else.
His compensation must be based on the level of retardation in his articles.
@ Big Al,
But “Seriously, in 1984 there was no evidence that people would use a mouse. ” that is just the basis behind being innovative. If everyone loves it and is doing it, it does not take a “rocket scientist” to decide that it will sell.
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Apple does its research and knows what should work. That is why its out in front and Microsoft is way behind. –
en
Big Al…
It’s funny that you mention the mouse and who would use it.
Back in 1985, I went to Computerland in NYC to get my first computer. Had it all specced: an IBM and a Princeton amber monitor. (OOOOH… AMBER.) The salesman nodded, then asked if I’d seen a Macintosh. Nope, never even heard of one. I played with the thing for about 20 minutes. OMFG! SOLD. And NEVER looked back!
Dvorak is like Vivaldi, who wrote the same concerto 600 times, except Dvorak has been writing the same damn article over and over and over for 25 years. I assume he’ll continue to do so, regardless of what anyone says. Obviously, he still seems to be employed.
Luckily we’ve got a few people out there with some integrity like Walt Mossberg and David Pogue.
You see, thats why I love my laptop and it can never be replaced. Coffee, tea, soda, etc. magically fly away from it when spilled. But the iphone……
I’m going to play the Devil’s Advocate here and point out that there’s some “truth” to what he says … here. Even the MDN comment doesn’t dispute the reality of “And these devices are poised to become the next desktop replacement platform? Splash. Splash. Splash,”. And “What’s worse is that people leave these little devices everywhere,” Dvorak explains. “And, generally speaking, they leave them all over the place unlocked and with limited encryption enabled. The ease with which someone can steal these things and rob the data is a little ridiculous. I cannot tell you how often I’ve shouted the words, ‘Hey, you left your phone!'”.
The iPhone is not particularly well suited to replacing a desktop, or even a laptop, as a primary computing device. My recent – and recently reported – experience convincing a new MacBook owner the basics of security should underscore that.
And now I say SO WHAT!?!?! It’s a PHONE fer crying out loud! It has some capabilities of a primary computing platform, but is only intended to supplement your main computing device, not replace it. Suggesting otherwise is like suggesting the MBA is planned to take a parasitic nibble of the laptop market rather than take a bite out of the ultraportable market. The remaining question is … “Does he recognize, and ignore, this error or is he flailing in the wind? Again.” There is a third option … someone foolishly made a bogus claim for the iPhone (or said someone had) and he was merely refuting it. Badly.
I depend entirely on word of mouth for Dvorak news. I haven’t give the guy so much as a hit since the video came out.
MDN – One of your best takes in a while!
Splash, splash? Maybe Apple knew what they were doing with those sealed-in batteries!
Okay, follow me on this one, because I think this is where the iPhone OS is heading . . .
As it stands today, you can load lots of information from your Mac (or PC, I suppose) and tote it around with you on the iPhone or Touch. They are two separate devices — two different platforms that can easily link and work together.
I say the day is coming that these devices will have enough processing power, memory and storage that you’ll be able to easily connect them wirelessly to a true keyboard, monitor/HDTV when you get to the home or office and it can act as sort of a medial desktop computer.
I mean, look at the size of the MacBook Air and the mini. Is it so hard to believe that in the next few years that something the size of an iPhone would be able to pull this off?
I’m not saying this is any kind of Creative Suite machine. But it’ll certainly allow for web browsing, spreadsheets and word processing — and maybe much more I’m not even giving it credit for.
All this in a device that costs less than $400.
I’m glad I’ve got some Apple shares.
I always talk on my iPhone while taking a piss…
Call me crazy, but I’d think an iPhone would be able to survive a coffee spill waaay better than a laptop.
Steve Jobs doesn’t want everyone with a computer to use an iPhone instead. He wants everyone to use an iPhone in ADDITION to a Mac. Dvorak says, “what do kids know?”. Well, I recommend Dvorak doesn’t conflate “what kids say” with Apple’s strategy.
If you set it on your desk it is one.
“Apple’s iPhone is not a desktop computer”
That’s correct. It’s a pocket computer. And a tool. Just like Dvorak. The difference is that the iPhone is useful.
He is so out of touch, gonzo computer journalism at its worst.
MDN word of the day: bloviates
How many people here actually feed the troll by clicking the link, despite the warning?
Now, it would be REALLY cool if someone could translate that!
“Let’s see what happens when someone submerges John Dvorak’s head into a toilet.”
@ Cubert:
I asked my MacBook what the iPhone said. They speak the same language, you know.
The amazing thing is how many 1s and 0s it took to say “Ass Clown.”
@MidWest Mac
This exactly follows an Apple patent that shows an empty iMac screen with a slot in the side. The slot being of course for a future Touch to provide processing power. Hmm 3D chips had better get faster if you wanted to play games as well as use Numbers though.
If coffee was going to be spilt on a device, I think that a touch screen device like the iPhone is likely to fare considerably better than a conventional phone with keys and lots of little holes for the liquid to get into.
The reason why the iPhone might be regarded as a potential problem is that for the first time we have a smart phone that really is smart enough to use routinely. With built-in OS X and the forthcoming SDK and applications store, it’s going to become even more useful. We’ve never before had a solution that offers so much practical computing power in such a small package, so there is clearly a risk of physically losing the object and all the data, but that’s not a problem with the iPhone, it’s a problem with the person who mislays the iPhone.
Drop them in the toilet??!!
I have owned a mobile phone for the better part of 20 years (admittedly some were the size of house bricks) and have never, never dropped one in the toilet. And I have never known anyone who has.
The very fact that no-one on this post, amongst all the other criticisms of Mr Dvorak, seems to be questioning that phones do indeed get “flushed away”, must mean that hundreds of MDN readers must have seen their phones swirl away into the plumbing on a regular basis.
Please let us hear some of your stories.
“Dvorak is a noted collector of Bordeaux wines and has been a tasting judge at various international events. He started his career as a wine writer.”
(wiki)
And now, he’s a whine writer. How many bottles does it take to inspire him to write?
The accident thing is true of laptops as well. Sure, they won’t fit in toilets, but spills, drops, etc already happen.
Re: unlocked, etc. Again, the same is already true of laptops. Any software solution that is applicable to a laptop can be applied to an iPhone.
His conclusion that iPhone size devices cannot be a computing platform in the future due to their current state is, of course, retarded. He’s begging for your response. Or else he really is that stupid.
He talks about how small is a problem and how people leave things behind. Then at the very end he proceeds to write that he puts everything on a Thumb Drive. LOL
@Mr. Reeee
“…like Vivaldi, who wrote the same concerto 600 times…”
Though off-topic, I like to dispute this. This remark was originally made by Stravinsky with a pure derogative intent, but is since echoed over and over again by people who seem to think that they can make a point with it somehow.
Those who know Vivaldi’s music – and other baroque music – will know that this is simply not true. Especially so if the music is performed by knowledgable chamber orchestras on period instruments. That’s important, because if you let a symphony orchestra perform this music – and even worse: on 19/20th century instruments – then it can indeed get more “blended”. But even then…
I find it sad that a cheap insult from a 20th century composer about a great innovative composer in his days – Vivaldi – got such a life of it’s own, for whatever reason.
This offcourse does not make Dvorak any less the scumbag that he is…
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“Sure, they won’t fit in toilets . . .”
Then, you’re obviously not trying hard enough.
Wasn’t it Dvorak a few years ago bitched about dropping his 17 inch laptop off the bed and cracking the screen and Apple wouldn’t replace it?
Bad things happen to any mobile electronics in different ways but that doesn’t mean that the one (the iPhone) cannot replace the other (laptop).
Besides, shouldn’t you be concentrating on other things when you are pinching a loaf on the Porcelain Throne other than typing a stupid tech article?
“I cannot tell you how often I’ve shouted the words, ‘Hey, you left your phone!'” “
That’s an obvious lie Dvorak!
That bugger Dvorak is the best candidate for euthanasia since Pol Pot!
Probably know more than he does. Why is this guy still around and allowed speak. Yet alone why do even post his stuff?
“Dvorak bloviates, “And, yes, the kids are all looking for alternative platforms, but what do kids know? Seriously, what do they know?”
And that ones got spots!
Customers who were led to believe the iPhone is a desktop computer, are filing a class action law suit. If you are a member of the “class”, send a picture of youself at your desk attempting to use your iPhone to the address below. If you don’t have a desk, use one on deslpay at your local OfficeDepot. It will help if youl include a copy of your receipt showing you purchased a monitor and keyboard with your iPhone.
Dvorak is a loser. Nothing this guy says is correct, and none of it means jack shit.
iPhone as a desktop replacement? Sure why not! though not in it`s current form (wait until more powerful and less power hungry CPUs hit the right pricing point, as well as what I like to believe to be the magic capacity of 100G SSD drives at a reasonable price) Anyone remember a show called “Earth Final Conflict”? thats where I see the iphone going (with more power and functionality not even dreamed of back then) So in closing bring on the desktop replacement!
@MidWest Mac,
Damn, that is long!
When he says things as dumb as this, MDN shouldn’t even link to the man. If someone really wants to read his garbage, they know where to find him.
Yeah thanks for the 411, John. I have been saying that on this site for over a year.
Just my $0.02
What a douche-bag…
” I cannot tell you how often I’ve shouted the words, ‘Hey, you left your phone!'”
And Dvorak’s hallucinations sometimes respond with, “Oh, thanks, man!”
Newsflash: Dvorak’s mouth is also his sphincter!
If it’s not a desktop computer, then why does it have a desktop stand?
This is very disapointing news… and here I was hoping that Maya 2008 would be made available on my iPhone this summer… I feel gypped! Dammit! I am going to sue Apple for 52 gazillion in dmagaes for misrepresentation of product and then buy 51 gazillion dollars worth of concrete and 1 gazillion worth of chocolate flavoring, tell that fat bloated gasbag Dvorak it’s chocolate mousse and pour it all down Dvoraks fat mouth…
fuck me! Fucking idiot hit troll!
I appreciate MDN keeping us abreast if this buffoonery, as it means I don’t have to click on the links and give traffic hits to that stupid asshole Dvorak.
Being a troll is an excuse. In Usenet groups, there is what I call the “Troll Effect”. Sometimes you read stuff so stupid, so asinine and wrong that you assume that the poster is actually a troll. You think to yourself that no one could possibly be that stupid. And indeed defenders of said idiot (every idiot has defenders) will say he’s trolling, you are talking it to serious, lighten up, blah blah blah.
But it becomes painfully obvious after a period of time that, in fact, the poster *is* that stupid, and saying they are a troll is an insult to trolls, because they actually do believe the crap they spout.
Dvorak’s defenders and Dvorak himself claim they are just trolling for the attention of Mac users, but let’s face it. After all the garbage that Dvorak regularly spouts, and the way he defends it, being a troll isn’t an excuse or defense, because it’s simply not true. He really thinks that way, and honestly believes his commentary to be relevant.
Well niether is the Apple desktop a desktop. Just a pretty photo organizer!?!?!?!?
You’d still break your laptop if you drop your it on the road, spill some champaign, or accidentally bake it in your microwave.
Is it only me, but if you put glasses and a little hair on Ballmer doesn’t he look somewhat like Dvorak?
Oh, my mistake, I was looking at their fat asses.
The current version of iPhone / iPod touch will not replace anything. But later versions with larger screens and several generations of software enhancement may replace laptops for some people.
The touch screen computer will not replace desktop computers and all laptops. People who work on computers all day are not going to do so with their arms held out on in front of them, manipulating things on the screen with their fingers.
The FUD master speaks!
@Victor Meldrew
I don’t believe it !!!
you are trying to blame the youth in Asia.
I did not realize the criteria for establishing a new type of computing platform is not being able to flush it down the toilet. Thanks for the heads up, Dvorak! I’m guessing desktops are going to be huge again. Mine won’t even come close to fitting in any of my toilets!