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what when will the iPhone implants become available?

Dumb & dumbest!

What a prat.

Geeze he couldn't wait for future improvements from Apple. Maybe if I whittle my hands my cock will fee bigger.

This isn't so strange. After he breast feeds his talking monkeys, Thomas bounces on his spring-loaded knees over to the tentacle farm where he keeps his giant eye on thousands of egg experiments. SSDD.

got the link wrong, should point to "the onion"

I actually thought it was typical Microsoft to require their users to upgrade their hardware in order to use a new product

He could use the TapRight Stylus from http://tapright.igiki.com

two average americans supporting the president.

He also drops from 1st place to last in the Thumb Wresting league...

I actually had my pinky removed and have been using it as a stylus since June 29th. no regrets works great. Although it did start to stink for a while I'm past that now. Now it just looks like beef jerky.

what? No picture? What kind of reporting is that? I want to see his slightly effeminate thumbs.

And it's not even April 1st.

It would have been less painful to just add static charged nipple extenders. And a better conversation starter as well.

this guy gets two thumbs down!

IN RELATED NEWS, "Dr. Robert Fox Spars"
has applied for

"Works with iPhone" certification for his procedure.

Look for the “Works with iPhone” logo to find accessories designed to connect specifically to iPhone and certified by the developer to meet Apple performance standards.

Ralph... I just spit out my coffee when I read your post.

@marko
lol, thanks for the laugh!

Idiot. Complete and utter idiot.
Technology is supposed to adapt to us, not the other way around.
And such a permanent mistake.

The has been getting stranger every day. Today was no exception.

This should be required reading for all Proctologists.

@MacRaven,

Yeah. I've been wondering what's up with The myself. A and And have been acting a bit suspicious, too.

@ralph.
Maybe i will get my cock whittled down, so the ladies will stop grimacing in pain.

@GeorgeW... only a real twit would take a hilarious story and try and politize it. Give it a rest butthead.

on topic - the real question is, what handle won't be typing on MDN for the next couple of weeks because of "personal difficulties!"

You want to check exactly where you're putting that thing.

"politize"

Is that like
Martinizing ?

This is the trend at Apple lately, making devices that are not human body friendly

Case's in point:

1: The small keyboard of the iPhone, Solution? Allow rotation of the keyboard.

2: Glossy screens on computers causing eyestrain and headaches. Solution? Provide Matte option on computer screens.

3: Mighty Mouse is not ergo friendly, hurts the hand to use and mouse ball gets stuck. Solution? Rethink the Mighty Mouse.

Did the idiot doctor tell him he couldn't 'unwhittle' his thumbs?

The does get stranger and stranger.

My wife and I have been pinching clothespins which I modified by whittling on our infants index fingers with the intent to cause her to grow nice pointy tips for touchscreen navigation.

She cries a lot anyway, and we're sure she'll thank us when she's old enough to appreciate it.

Future MDN column: Spaghetti Jar dysfunction, now known as Steve Jobs Syndrome (SJS) forces thumbless masses to new Zunephone.

Well... dang, I guess maybe I *did* lay that keyboard out a little close... Guess there'll be no Queen's award for me this year... OTOH, maybe I should start looking for plastic surgery IPOs...

I see a class-action suit from the "big people" (when are they call themself for what they are: OBESE) to Apple for discriminating them because of the little size of the touch screen in the future

Sir, if your thumb is of the size of the screen itself, face it: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! And appreciate the fact that is a medical condition, but it's still a problem.

And I'm no skinny guy, but man, there are limits.....

I have to say I am somewhat skeptical of the article about whittling. I mean, the iPhone has only been out a month or so. In that time, this guy has 1) bought an iPhone, 2) used it enough to decided his meathooks are too big, 3) found a surgeon to do this technique, 4) had the surgery, and 5) recovered enough from it to comment on its effectiveness.

All that in 30 days? I don't think so....

Isn't a good thing he can't open Spaghetti jar now he might lost weight to even up his hands.

I suppose he had to take them out of his ass first.

"I suppose he had to take them out of his ass first."

Not necessarily.

I'm not so convinced that's a real story.

This is big hoax. Please check your sources before you publish this sort of stuff. http://blogs.business2.com/apple/2007/08/hoax-alert-ipho.html

But there was the true story of a Windows user who had to have his dick shortened to 3 inches when he started using Macs so that he wouldn't feel out of place in the shower at Apple events.