The Consumer Electronics Association kicked off the 2010 International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) tonight with a pre-show opening keynote by Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer and Entertainment & Devices President Robbie Bach.
During his keynote Ballmer showed current and future hardware shown on stage, including:
• A touch-enabled Windows 7 tablet PC from HP
• A Sony VAIO L all-in-one PC with a 24-inch touchscreen
• The Lenovo A300 with a 21.5-inch HD widescreen addition LED display
In, Ballmer announced that Microsoft and HP are teaming up on search and portal experiences. Bing will be the default search engine, and MSN the default homepage on HP PCs in 42 countries.
Following the release of Windows Mobile 6.5 in October, Ballmer announced the upcoming exclusive availability of the HTC HD2 in partnership with T-Mobile USA, Inc. and HTC.
Microsoft Entertainment & Devices Division President Robbie Bach followed Ballmer on stage and outlined the company’s strategy of connecting the personal computer, mobile devices, television and the Internet. Bach also covered “Project Natal,” the controller-free gaming experience that tracks body movements and facial expressions and responds to voice commands and is scheduled to be available in holiday season 2010.
In lieu of an Ambien (or five), watch the video via Microsoft’s web site here.
MacDailyNews Take: Yawnfest as usual. Someone forgot to provide Fester with some content to go along with all that filler. The amount of nothingness they have to show for all their billions of dollars and 93,000 employees astounds even us. Microsoft is a company bereft of interesting ideas coasting on past intellectual property thefts and the benefits of largely-unpunished monopoly abuse that’s headed by a clueless buffoon who once got a very fortunate dorm assignment. The good news is, of course, that The Dark Ages of Personal Computing are rapidly coming to a close. Enjoy the renaissance!
Our customary toast: May Steve Ballmer remain Microsoft CEO for as long as it takes!
[UPDATE: Jan. 7, 2010, 11:59am ET: changed “laptop” to “PC” in Sony bullet point.]
So, when does the wow start?
“A Sony VAIO L all-in-one laptop with a 24-inch touchscreen”
I sure as hell don’t want to travel with a 24-inch “laptop” let alone sit it on my lap!
Especially with flights to the US banning almost all carry-on luggage, who’d be stupid enough to pack this in their checked baggage?
The only thing these are good for are presentation machines, and that’s a pretty limited market.
Oh Gawd!
Microsoft- Perpetually boring and DISengaging. Seriously?!? During the time that innovation is swirling about their collective head, they are still only talking about mobile- desktop- living room convergence while Apple is 2-3 years ahead. It’s getting beyond embarrassing here…
But… but… but mossman… you can TOUCH that screen. Actually TOUCH it!
NATAL: Even third-party gaming accessory/controller partners will soon get PlayedForSure!
Bing! Never ask for whom the bell tolls, dreamGEAR, Intec, Mad Catz, Logitech… it tolls for you!
It all sounds like a bad version of Ocean’s Thirteen – and that was bad enough. Balmer is balmy.
Move along, nothing to fear from this
bloated toad.
You forgot the app freeze in there. Though they were quick to fix it. And also Ballmer following that guy around like a creepy rapist.
Apple from 2 to 3 years ahead on touch hardware and software
Ok, I recovered from the shock.
Now the question: what in the hell do I need a “Surface” laptop computer for?
A 24 inch laptop? Is this for real?
24 inchs? Is steve Ballmer compensating for a something?
Surface for the lap- NO, I need drugs!
Blew. Me. Away. Ballmer NAILED IT! MAC smugly tries to peddle little me-too wannabe Zunes while Microsoft is changing the world. Again.
MAC better get their sh!t together to stop the parade of revolutionary innovations that will be marching out of Redmond this year. Brilliant job as always Mr. Ballmer. Already looking forward to next year’s trouncing of MAC.
Your potential. Our passion.™
You are blew away. Layoff the glue, take your meds, and try not to drink any more anti freeze!
I’m sorry, I was always told to be kind to the retarded! Sorry.
Does the mstouchtablet have a keyboard nailed to the back of it?
Because in 2007 Ballmer said of the iPhone: “it doesn’t appeal to business customers because it doesn’t have a keyboard. Which makes it not a very good e-mail machine.”
Since that’s his vision, their tablet should have a nice two pound keyboard. And an optional seventeen button mouse.
You can say what you want about Ballmer, but looking at that picture of him above, I’m reminded of what a snappy dresser he is.
I also like it when he opens his mouth like that. And I hope he stuck his tongue out during the presentation. That’s one of his classic moves.
A 24″ touch screen all-in-one LAPTOP?!?!!?!?! Are they serious?
Looked at the picture again – gosh, what a no-neck genius.
And the 24 inch laptop seems like a Saturday Night Live gag.
I just read the live blog over at crunch gear.
Sounded like the saddest/weakest keynote EVER.
People were leaving during…
Steve Ballmer looks like a penis
The video isn’t playing… anyone else having this issue?
“Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer’s CES keynote presentation.”
Are you sure it wasn’t a ‘Powerpoint’ presentation?
Just you wait until the end of the week, there will be reports of flying chairs in Redmond. I watched the first few minutes, before Silverlight crapped out on me. It was long enough to see the jelly donut stains on that H(hot)T(terrible)C(crap) phone that Balmer pulled out. If I can get Micro$haft’s website plugin to work, then I will see the rest if it is worth it. So far, I am unimpressed…
Scarbro… I was just wondering the same. Maybe it only plays in Internet Exploder?
I enjoyed the live ‘MacWorld-like’ coverage hosted by several of the gadget sites out there. A couple of interesting points:
The Blue Screen of Death was replaced by the Black Stage of Reboot. Power outage, or stage control system crash? We report: YOU decide. At least it’s a tradition at M$ demos for there to be a crash, hang or some other example of why PC just suck. They just do.
A third of the demo was Seth Green (looked like Jerry Seinfeld material left over from failed 2008 campaign), one third Windows 7 hype redux, and the rest new product intros that aren’t shipping with no prices or delivery dates or even FEATURES (like Natal).
So, if I’m Apple, I’m supposed to be afraid of this? I mean they hyped the Zune, for pity’s sake!
Shows like this with their rambling commentaries, overly busy multimedia pitches made by some poor schlemp in The Borg to pimp the tech equivalent of a McDonalds cheeseburger (not even the double cheeseburger – that’d be shooting for the moon) makes me smile.
Yes, they’ll still be 85% of the new market tomorrow, and will still hold claim on 75% of the worlds desktop & laptop OS systems.
But I remember when it was 95%. And so do they. Keep worrying about (and badly copying) Apple. Google will gladly knife you in the back (as they did Apple) and eat your lunch. Karma is Karma.
Doesn’t Zune Tang have any friends? Certainly not here- the sadomasochist apparently has no life, either… Why not share your joy in a Windows or Ballmer fan club forum? Seriously- get some help…
Microsoft is getting its butt kicked by both Apple and Google. Luckily, Apple is still, as always, the true innovator, which overrides any “New Kid on the Block” misguided enthusiasm. The media is always looking for some kind of “Killer.” The true “iPhone killer” will be the next iPhone.
Crashed the Keynote
Crashed the Keynote
Come on everyone !
The biggest technology company in the world, Crashed The Keynote
Oballmer is actually the king of down syndrome kids,
He’s only king because he’s the oldest.
Enough, There’s one more thing, Zune Bang@, your so000 funny!!! and Oballmer is your father and your mother was ______
Anyone?
@ Chuckles,
That sir, was an outstanding post!
MDN Word “really”
It is spooky how spot on they are.
I just hope Ballmer stays the CEO of Microsoft for a very long tine.
I watched it….I farted. Now I’m off to bed. Just about sums up the excitement of another Windows based POS.
Sorry about that down syndrome comment, in my exuberance I lost my head. It’s late and I’m getting a bit punchy.
Zune Tang, I keep forgetting you are the Stephen Colbert of Mac Land.
Whoever is impersonating me, it’s a little scary.
Not really sorry about anything accept I don’t know your real handle
so I can make apologies for you being so creepy and down like.
Limp Fang couldn’t hold Steven’s fluids…His mother was
Bill Gate’s unregistered blind pitbull.
I have never used the word exuberance in my life either.
Now that’s 1, thanks Creepy.
I would just like to add that I predicted the on-stage crash.
It’s around here somewhere…
What- no Roz Ho??
Ok… am I missing something? The first 72 minutes or so of the video on their website shows the crowd with nobody on stage while logos of CES and Microsoft periodically change on the video. This is supposed to show off their “world class experiences” that you can get with M$???
It would be interesting to watch (like seeing an accident I guess) but I refuse to install the SilverLight crap on my Mac.
Heh. They require silverlight to watch the video. Sorry, but a Ballmer keynote isn’t interesting enough to make me install a massive security hole.
-jcr
“Bing will be the default search engine, and MSN the default homepage on HP PCs in 42 countries.”
As usual, first order of business on any Windows PC – remove the crapware and “Bing” it’s gone!.
http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/01/microsoft-keynote/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+wired/index+(Wired:+Index+3+(Top+Stories+2))
From wired.com the headline for Steve Ballmer’s Keynote “Microsoft Touts Home Entertainment at CES Keynote”…
What with the iPhone, Android, etc and all the rumors about tablet this or slate that wasn’t 2010, the new decade just starting, being touted as the “Year in Mobility”?! And MS touts HOME entertainment??? HOME!!! Ballmer… I love you man… I really love you!
Addendum:
Maybe MS touting home entertainment in the year of mobility is thinking, Mobile Home? We already have SYNC in autos…
Ever notice how these companies seem to think think they can defeat Apple by throwing features together at random?
IT’S AN ALL-IN-ONE… 24 INCH… TOUSCHSCREEN… LAPTOP!
I get the feeling alot of their R&D;is just writing things down on post–it notes and putting them on a dartboard.
It is a very good thing that Microsoft has failed in mobile.
Imagine if Microsoft’s desktop monopoly extended into mobile. It’s mobile Internet Explorer browser does not adhere to web standards, as Microsoft would like to own the internet. We’d all be stuck with mediocrity, just to have access to Microsoft’s file formats.
We are better off without Microsoft in mobile. Anyone else is better. At the moment there are a number of strong players: Blackberry, iPhone, Android. That’s a good thing. As long as it’s not Microsoft.
maybe its just me, but why does the audio keep fading in and out as ballmer walks (paces nervously) around the stage, there were several times that the audio just went silent for like 9 seconds and this also seems like he keeps walking away from a microphone as his voice fades out and then back in LOUD
And also why is he yelling? doesn’t he know he has a microphone on and people can hear him?
bing has 80,000 downloads in a year and he’s telling people that?
I couldn’t finish it sorry Iwill try again tomorrow
a 24″ laptop is perfect for my needs ‘Lan-party gaming’
and I would love one in my music studio.
touch screens ar sweet for mixer controls and size matters the bigger the better.
I’d just as soon drag my iMac and a generator around with me as get a 24″ laptop.
Isn’t CES meant to be the CONSUMER Electronics Show? What is MS doing as the keynote?
Get a 3D TV vendor or EA games or Sony to do something interesting, not a consumer has-been. Keep MS at the enterprise shows until they’re interesting again for consumers…
Search Query Top 3 at Google, right after the CES KeyNote:
1. “tena serenity”
2. “how to prepare for a gorilla arm”
3. “macosx remove silverlight”
I wonder, is there a connection?
I cant watch the video…I dont enjoy throwing up…I cant believe such a big company has such a unprofessional person representing them….That man is sickening…I cant even stand the sound of his voice…
“watch the video via Microsoft’s web site”
Requires Siverlight. Does not work on my PowerPC
So, the world remains safe in the knowledge that nothing will change in the world of Microsoft for the next two or three years…
Time enough for Apple and Google to grab the future by the horns and ride it right through Microsoft’s hegemony.
And how much is working with a 24″ touchscreen computer sitting on your desk, arms outstretched all day pushing stuff around the screen, gonna hurt after a few hours?
I get major knots in my back just using a mouse and keyboard…
And how will it affect the eyes? If you look at a screen that too close for too long it results in major eye strain and headaches. Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
yawn
i couldn’t get past the ‘tonites gonna be a good nite’ dross
ms really are pathetic
24 inch laptops are going to very popular with all the lard arse yanks like Ballmer because, unlike smaller versions, they won’t keep disappearing into the fat fleshy folds of their super sized thighs.
I have never understood why CES would have gates and now ballmer do their keynote. It sets a bad tone for the entire show. Not sure even jobs would be right, but at least he’d show useful technology.
“Funny” article on ballmer’s presentation:
http://tinyurl.com/ya9x3gj
I don’t know about anyone else here, but does Uncle Fester have the most annoying voice?
The reason bates & galmer get to do the keynote at CES every year is that m$ sponsers the CES. That way they appear to be leading all that electronic innovation-hmmmn
the 24″ touchscreen they showed is not a laptop, it’s an iMac knockoff from Sony, and it sucks! But the overall keynote is soooooooooo boring, it’s a complete snoozefest… and most of it is utter crap, not a single interesting thing, I had to stop halfway through, it was so unbearable to watch!!! Shame on Microsoft once more for being so friggin lame! It’s pathetic! How can anyone work for Microsoft with any sense of human dignity?
How much did M$ pay HP for the Bing preference over Google? Had to be a pile of money.
I’ll be impressed when Microsoft/DELL/HP comes out with a 42″ Finger & Body driven Touchscreen PLASMA Laptop DVD/BR/VHS Combo Drive with 512K RAM and a HD slot/interface to add up to 1TB drive which can be used for RAMDISK, optional RAM QUADRUPPLE Integrated USB/FIREWIRE/SVGA MULTIPORT.
Mmmmmm … search and portal experiences
@ ZuneTang
Once again, a tip of the hat. YOU blew me away!
I did play the video (mostly in the background), and apart from the pathos on display, what struck me was the contempt MS has for viewers. At a couple of points a notice was thrown up on the screen informing viewers that the segment would not be displayed “in respect of intellectual property….” But instead of editing out the secret segment and resuming the video at a later point, they made viewers sit through the entire secret segment, with the notice dead on the screen and music paying.
In short, THEY PUT VIEWERS ON HOLD!!! TWICE!!!
Incredible.
Welcome to the world’s most entertaining and brilliant venue for comic relief, sponsored by Microsoft.
(For the ones posting to MDN, wherever you are, are simply hilarious. Thanks for making my day!)
I tried to watch the video via the link. Silver light opened ok, and I paused at the 5 min mark to use the bathroom. Upon coming back, I clicked play and it went into an endless “buffering” loop.
OMG,,,,, its silverlight by Microsoft. The latest crap for the new decade…. LOL
Just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, thought.
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en
Trumped by a mythical product that isn’t released yet. That has got to be FAIL
Oh, and a big hello to Zune Tang, I don’t see around much here these days; don’t be a stranger.
The sounds cuts off and goes up and down. so fitting for the microsoft site.
Another classic from you!
Superb!
You always crack me up!
Thanks so much.
John
@ Bream Rockmetteller
So, when does the wow start?
My nominee for best comment of the week!
“Microsoft is a company bereft of interesting ideas coasting on past intellectual property thefts and the benefits of largely-unpunished monopoly abuse that’s headed by a clueless buffoon who once got a very fortunate dorm assignment. “
Wow! What an amazing consolidation of MS history into a single sentence.
It’s complete amateur hour with Ballmer following other presenters on stage like nervous parent asking scripted question delivered like a 1970’s porn actor.
It’s worse than boring. Boring you can survive. It’s actually embarrassing. The would have better off with a paper press release without pictures.
Ugh, I watched for 8 minutes and I had to turn it off. Steve is so rough around the edges…why do they keep him as CEO?
CES Monkey Boy sez:
“We can all be so bullish” <– as in bullsh*t fest. BING! Gottcha.
“Today I am pleased to tell you that there are over 39 million Xboxes around the world” <– And only HALF of them work. Over 50% return rate due to bad hardware, the Red Ring of Death. Tell us all about THAT horror Monkey Boy.
MB neglects to point out that one of the prime reasons that PC sales FELL last year was VISTA. He fails to point out that PC sales ROSE this past year because PC buyers no longer had to get VISTA. He neglects to point out that 7ista is ‘the fastest selling OS in history’ because there is over 7 (S E V E N) years of pent up demand for something newer than Windows XP.
Great work at burying the facts there Monkey Boy. A true marketing moron.
AND for those who found Ballmer’s festival of deceit too boring or evil to watch, you’ll enjoy this:
During the demo of Window Media Center literally LOCKED UP on their PC.
Dead.
Unresponsive.
And they were ready for it! They had to swap their display over to ANOTHER PC running Windows Media Center. Utterly PATHETIC. But at least they knew it was going to FAIL and were prepared.
Almost verbatim they were saying ‘Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain’ making excuse after excuse for parts of the demo that had CRASHED and were inaccessible. Think I’m kidding? Go watch and laugh and laugh.
This is Microsoft at work. This is garbage at play.
I’m a PC, and I just had a fatal error.
About halfway through Monkey Boy’s blahblah he started praising the quality of Silverlight, the technology they used to stream his CES Keynote.
OK, so why did the audio DROP OUT 5 times at my end during his keynote? Why did the decibel level gradually DOUBLE about a third of the way through the presentation. Was it crap production qualities? Or was it Silverlight?
“Windows PCs will ABSOLUTELY offer the greatest variety and the most interesting content and entertainment experience in the world.”
Until your PC crashes, which it did, live on stage. BWAHAHAHA!
The man really has no problem talking for a long time on stage but damn he is boring to watch.
I quite watching after 5 minutes.blah blah blah
Maybe he would’ve grabbed my attention if he monkey danced around the stage like a nutcase every minute.