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Sat, Jul 04, 2009 - 10:08 AM EDT  —  AAPL: 140.02 (-2.81, -1.97%)  |  NASDAQ: 1796.52 (-49.20, -2.67%)

Microsoft ‘delays’ their ‘Big Ass Table’
Friday, November 09, 2007 - 04:08 PM EDT

Microsoft "is finding the task of bringing the [Surface] tabletop computer to market a little rougher than it anticipated," Ina Fried reports for CNET News.

"The software maker's initial plan was to get partners with the touch-screen machines up and running as early as this month. Now it estimates it will take until spring before the devices start showing up in locations like Sheraton hotels, Harrah's casinos, and T-Mobile retail locations," Fried reports. "Part of the holdup has been in developing the custom software each of those partners needs, as well as making sure the hardware is suited to their locations."

"The product, originally code-named Milan, looks a bit like a 1980s sit-down Ms. Pac Man machine, but uses infrared cameras and a projector to create a touch-screen that can respond to multiple users' hand gestures, as well as interact with other objects," Fried reports.

Microsoft's Big Ass Table:

Direct link via YouTube here.

Fried continues, "In a recent interview with CNET News.com, Bill Gates spoke about the potential of surface computing to go far beyond the tabletop, once the costs come down. The initial units are expected to cost in the range of $5,000 to $10,000, but the company still hopes they will fall to a price affordable to consumers within three to five years... 'It can be in every desk,' Gates said. 'It can be in every table, it can be in every whiteboard, every mirror. Give us a 5- to 10-year time frame and we will wonder why our tables used to just sit there and not do anything for us.'"

Full article here.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader "MacVicta" for the heads up.]

MacDailyNews Take: Does Gates - who obviously lost his mind years ago (if he ever really had one at all) - expect us all to collectively forget that tables have been providing places upon which to eat, work, worship, etc. for thousands of years?

While he's working diligently to, uh, "redefine the table," plus figuring out how to pack that jumble of cameras and junk into a friggin mirror (which, we must admit, would be just perfect for Blue Man Group), Apple will have lapped his sorry, visionless assemblage of wasted talent up in Redmond many more times over.

Just check into that Vegas hotel, Mr. Mediocrity, get to work growing those fingernails, and give us all a break finally.

Microsoft's Surface was never going to be available as they promised. It is nothing more than a Rube Goldberg concoction that attempts to divert the attention of the gullible by shouting "Hey, look over here, ignore that Apple multi-touch stuff! No, really, look: it's a $10,000 Big Hairy Ass Table!" Microsoft's Surface video is a mock up - the thing doesn't even do half of what's shown. In fact, it does nothing, as it's still vapor.

Meanwhile, Apple's been selling affordable multi-touch technology that fits in your pocket (not sits in the corner of Pizza Hut) by the millions since early summer.

Every time there's iPhone news (see Germany and the UK today), Microsoft trots out some "news" about their Big Ass Table (good or bad, it doesn't matter) to try to suck some oxygen away from whatever Apple's doing with real products. It's the same sad, empty tactic as talking about "the next version of Windows" every time Apple releases a new Mac OS version while Microsoft's sufferers remain stuck clinging to an aged, 6+ year old, upside-down and backwards fake Mac OS because their latest bad fake of a past Apple Mac OS is a laughable mess. About the only thing Microsoft does well is produce an endless litany of empty promises designed to keep their sheep in the pen.

Look at iPhone vs. Surface today: a better illustration of how far Apple's ahead of Microsoft would be hard to find.

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Nov 09, 07 - 05:12 pm Comment from: Mac n' Cheese

Dumb ass presents big ass...

Nov 09, 07 - 05:16 pm Comment from: Whatever

Hell it took 5 to 10 years to release Vista and he thinks that they can do every table and wall around with this crap - Also why the hell would I want to download my pictures to a table at a Sheriton®?

Nov 09, 07 - 05:16 pm Comment from: kirkgray

But I wanted to get one for everyone in the family for Christmas!!

Nov 09, 07 - 05:17 pm Comment from: MacFhearghaile

Microsoft? I've got a hand gesture for them. They can interact with my trash can. Another dumb ass idea from Gate and Monkey Boy. Sorry for the rant just having a bad Microsoft hair day.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:19 pm Comment from: Mauritius Kestrel

A BSOD while gambling at a casino is only going to raise the violent crime rate.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:22 pm Comment from: Mauritius Kestrel

"Big ass table" also means "glib as beast". See, I speak Ballmer. Now I need to rinse with something strong.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:27 pm Comment from: Artist

They just showcased it right before the iPhone launch to try and steal the show. They knew it wouldn't be ready this month.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:27 pm Comment from: Charleston

MDN,

an hilarious take!

Nov 09, 07 - 05:34 pm Comment from: Mauritius Kestrel

Damn thing better have 3-D Galaxian for ten big ones.

Uncle Fester and Turtle Boy have to pretend to shareholders that they are innovating. Most of their R & D budget is actually spent on sophisticated spying equipment that's aimed 855 miles due south of Redmond.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:35 pm Comment from: Wade

Okay, I know it's a cheesy show, but whose tech are they using on CSI:Miami? Or is it all a CGI special effect?

Nov 09, 07 - 05:37 pm Comment from: Dolittle

MDN - well put dudes!!!!

Besides... I love to PLUG my TABLE in to the wall.
That's quite a concept there.
Someone's gonna TRIP on the wires, fall and brake the table.
10 Grand down the toilet.

Oh gee, lets go to the dinning room kids to watch some videos on the TABLE.

Cool... EastSide Marios... I can wait 4 my meal...
wipe my hands all over the freaking table and place an order while my son doodles and my daughter browses the net.
All on a freaking MSN digital Table.
Weee what a cool night out.

dd

Nov 09, 07 - 05:38 pm Comment from: Darth Mac

Give some legs to the iPhone and you'll have a better table... just kidding, but more seriously, by the time MS get that table ready, people will be playing with their Mac Touch (the iPod Touch of productivity)...

Nov 09, 07 - 05:39 pm Comment from: Mauritius Kestrel

Someone should show the CEOs of Sheraton Hotels, Harrah's Casinos, and T-Mobile what happens when you invest in Windows to promote and market your valuable brand and products:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/valen1260/19803437/


(Wade: It's CGI:Miami.)

Nov 09, 07 - 05:39 pm Comment from: MabCook

They'll have to limit them to two per customer.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:40 pm Comment from: Eric

It will never be a product. It is like that Orgami, Orgamy, or whatever it is/was called. Lots of initial hoopla, then it will vanish.

Microsoft needs to focus on one thing, software.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:42 pm Comment from: Charleston

Bill Gates is going to be very lonely when he retires.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:44 pm Comment from: Excellent demo video

Definately and excellent demonstration video.

Hope it all works.

But then there's going to be law suits out there...
Multi-touch was a technology Apple purchased the rights to for input and functionablity.

MS didn't think of to do that did they... patent the way people interact with the Multi-touch system.

hahahahah even though Apple didn't invent Muti-Touch.

They thought about capturing it as theirs.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:46 pm Comment from: Jacob

I don't know about anyone else, but I really don't spend a lot of time sitting around a coffee table. Hell, I don't actually have a coffee table. I mean, who would actually rather use one of those to browse the web instead of a proper computer on a desk with a comfortable chair, where you aren't leaning forwards to try and read and access something that's flat? Or a laptop which you can adjust until you can see the screen easily? Or an iPhone you can hold in the palm of your hand and adjust until you can see it easily, and requires a fraction of the motion to use (small finger movement as opposed to large arm movement).

I can see this being a very niche item in large institutions, but even if the price somehow came down a bunch, I can't see it ever being cheaper than a big screen TV or a laptop or something.

MDN MW: "Job", as in "Microsoft's job these days in the tech world is to give an example of what not to do"

Nov 09, 07 - 05:48 pm Comment from: justified

If you can't reinvent the wheel, try reinventing the table!

Seriously, because a table should be a table.

"Give us a 5- to 10-year time frame and we will wonder why our windshields used to just be clear glass rather than interactive video screens.'"

Nov 09, 07 - 05:50 pm Comment from: R2

"A BSOD while gambling at a casino is only going to raise the violent crime rate."

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/3669/bsodhc1.jpg

Nov 09, 07 - 05:52 pm Comment from: Daddy

If Apple made it then you all would be blowing each other to get one.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:53 pm Comment from: Chuckles

They should call it the BAT

Nov 09, 07 - 05:54 pm Comment from: @justified

Hallelujah.

Microsoft's "vision" now seems to be, "well, if it would be cool in a sci-fi movie, it'll be cool in real life."

Jetpacks are possible. Flying cars are possible. Video wrist watches are possible. Segways are possible.

No one really wants them, though.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:56 pm Comment from: ApplePi

someone is circleing the drain...Delayed? Please this is Microsoft. They don't delay, they shift the date and slash features. This is how corporate works. it's simple math. They are going to find out that anyhting they try to do outside of selling the same shit they have been pedaling for years to the same people is not going to work. They just suck. I'm not sure what else to say about that...

Nov 09, 07 - 05:58 pm Comment from: BustingTheSkullsOfIdiots

Whenever I read about Surfaces, I just laugh and laugh and laugh. Microsoft just doesn't get it. Their ideas are dumber and dumber all the time and it's painful to watch them try to catch up to Apple. I guess they're not half as innovative when they can't steal their ideas.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:59 pm Comment from: Mauritius Kestrel

MS is also working on an interactive bidet. It reacts to voice commands, squirts fruity scents up you and downloads automagically.
In early beta tests however, several volunteers were unexpectedly injured or affected by the device. One possibly got pregnant from the nozzle, two are having uncontrollable butt spasms and three volunteers are in a coma. They just shut down for no reason.

Nov 09, 07 - 05:59 pm Comment from: smackman

Again Microshaft misses the point. What they are TRYING to do but failing is implementing multi-touch in a way that is natural and enhansing the normal day-to-day stuff. I think Apple has made a great step foward by not over doing the multi touch. Just putting it where it makes sense.

Has anyone seen the work the Jeff Hahn has done. Type his name on You Tube and see what I mean. Now THAT is where I feel multi touch should and will be going.

You can also search for his presentation at the TED talks at
ted.com

Nov 09, 07 - 06:01 pm Comment from: Charleston

Daddy,

you must be joking!

Apple would never bring out such badly conceived kitsch onto the market.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:03 pm Comment from: Mommy

Charleston: Sounds like "Daddy" is a jealous Wintroll. I would pity them if they weren't so darn cute and funny.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:09 pm Comment from: Mauritius Kestrel

Here's an excellent example of how well Microshit products work, even for Bill Gates:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMFYOzg_VWY

Nov 09, 07 - 06:14 pm Comment from: clunker

I can see this being a very niche item in large institutions

IOW, it'd be perfect for MS.

With any product, there's always the danger you'll build it for a market of one: yourself. MS fell wholesale into this trap years ago; they just got lucky with Office.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:26 pm Comment from: old school

Doesn't anyone find MS's magic table... depressing??

Seriously. It's like you WANT to touch and handle the photos, documents, etc. on the table, but you CAN'T. They're trapped inside, and you're limited faking it with silly hand gestures. MIMES might have fun with this, but the rest of us...??

Forget the digital hocus-pocus. Some things are better the old way. smile

Nov 09, 07 - 06:32 pm Comment from: Ann Coulter

Surface is the table perfected.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:38 pm Comment from: NavyTim

MDN: you blew this one - you totally missed it! By having this announcement, they are able to corner the market on touch-tables. Now, all the people that have been waiting patiently and anxiously to purchase one will now hold off to wait for the latest and greatest one from MS. Pure genius on their part, fantastic marketing! Now, all of those who were going to buy a table that let's people touch it to do...well...something, I'm sure - well, now they will wait. What's 5 or 10 years - just don't put anything in the room until the table arives!

MW= 'simply' - as in; simply BS from MS!

Nov 09, 07 - 06:43 pm Comment from: Road Warrior

Do those tables come with mat or glossy screens?

Nov 09, 07 - 06:46 pm Comment from: ChrissyOne

@ old school

The problem for me isn't that they're "trapped inside". The problem is the "inside" being boat-anchored to a big-ass table. Give me that interface on something I can put in my purse and I'll be interested.
I'd love nothing more that to be able to review and edit photos in the way that Surface does, but my photos aren't likely to be stored at some hotel bar (maybe on the hotel pay-per-view...). And, I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to take the fashion risk that putting that goofy thing in my living room would cause. I don't want it in my living room. Or in a hotel. I want it in the hammock in the back yard, or at the beach, or, say at the location I'm taking the pictures.

There is one simple reason that MS is going the Big Ass Table route - because Apple has all the touch-screen patents lined up, so MS has to use IR. And you can't make IR that small (well, maybe someone aside from MS could...).

Nov 09, 07 - 06:47 pm Comment from: ApplePi

MDN loses credibility when it shows unprofessional photos of Bill Gates. You're getting personal, MDN. Grow up.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:49 pm Comment from: bill

BFD. Maybe next century. And that is being optimistic.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:50 pm Comment from: Not Bill

I was getting ready to point out how utterly pointless and stupid the Big Ass Table is when I read the MDN comment. That is a materspiece. Enough said.

Nov 09, 07 - 06:51 pm Comment from: PcGuy

Damn! Why are you people so obsessed with Gates + Balmer + Microsoft! Why don't you just feel happy about Mac + Ipod + Iphone? Why the need to put other companies + people down?
That's kind of thinking stinks, feels like inferiority complex.
I for one look forward to trying one of these "Big Ass Tables", as MDN chooses to describe them...

Nov 09, 07 - 06:54 pm Comment from: Mr. Reeee

Hey, let's be nice. Not EVERYTHING Microsoft sells sucks. They makes some decent mice. If you like mice...

Personally, I'll stick with the trackball and WACOM tablet combo.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:07 pm Comment from: bill's boy

yeah, but it comes in matte and glossy.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:10 pm Comment from: LorD 1776

Hey PcGuy, why don't you take one of those Big Ass Tables and use it as a suppository. That is if you can pull your head out of the way.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:17 pm Comment from: LorD 1776

"Just check into a Vegas hotel, Mr. Mediocrity, get to work growing those fingernails, and finally give us all a break." How can you not love this site with awesome humor like this. Unless you are PcGuy and Daddy. Poor, pathetic little creatures.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:18 pm Comment from: MacRaven

It can be in every desk if your yearly salary is what Bill's is.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:25 pm Comment from: really bad product idea

BAT... this project is ridiculous. It really shouldve been tabled long ago.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:46 pm Comment from: PcGuy

Thank you "LorD 1776" for proving my point.

Nov 09, 07 - 07:52 pm Comment from: Road Warrior

Mr. Reece I agree with you there. Not everything MS makes sucks. They make vaccum cleaners don't they?

Nov 09, 07 - 08:17 pm Comment from: Aluminum white

I guess that the Apple tablet rumor (tab) is going to put surface out of the race if they put dual wi-fi comunication via the touchscreen of the screen like the surface but in a very thin slate.

Nov 09, 07 - 08:19 pm Comment from: McDeans

@roadwarrior

"Do those tables come with mat or glossy screens?"

Now _that_ was funny!

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