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Oct 02, 09 - 04:14 pm Comment from: loopy_nj

Poor Steve Ballmer, he has the runs every morning.

What's that, you said he runs every morning?

Never mind.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:15 pm Comment from: Demon

A Monkey Boy Edition!
If he had signed it Steve "Monkey Boy" Ballmer I might have considered tossing a Mac vs. Winblows party.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:19 pm Comment from: cptnkirk

This is akin to having the signature of the captain who ran the Titanic into an iceberg. An historical oddity.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:30 pm Comment from: MediaXYZ

I wonder if they have changed all of the error messages to put the best possible spin on them in this edition. For example, on the blue screen of death, it might now say something like, "You now have the opportunity to free up memory and optimise Windows performance by restarting."

Oct 02, 09 - 04:34 pm Comment from: auramac

In preparing for my latest colonoscopy, first I find Jimmy Hoffa, then Ballmer pops up (or down)!

Like they say, the prep is the worst part..

Get tested!

"Steve Ballmer edition of Windows 7"
WOOOOOOWWW! Do that means that instead of "flying windows" screen saver it has a "flying chairs" screen saver?

I wonder if those guys hosting those parties have ever talk to a woman.... with out using their credit cards..

BTW:First

Oct 02, 09 - 04:35 pm Comment from: ericdano

Gosh, you can really smell the fear from Redmond can't ya?

Okay... Vista autographed by Bill Gates, that makes sense, since Gates not only founded the company but had a lot to do with the technological side of things at Microsoft.

But Windows 7 autographed by Steve Ballmer... that just seems weird. I mean, what has he done on the technology side that his autograph would be worth anything?

This train of thought brought to mind a user comment I'd just read in the latest post at the Mini-Microsoft blog (user comment from Thursday, September 24, 2009 2:17:00 AM):

[Steve Ballmer] loves being the CEO of a Fortune 100 company. I'm not sure he'd notice a difference if he woke up tomorrow and was the CEO of Boeing, or Starbucks, or GE. I don't recall him ever showing any interest in computers, software, electronics, or technology in general. Steve Jobs founded two computer companies and a computer graphics company. Sergey Brin and Larry Page built the Google search engine with their own two (four) hands. Bill Gates wrote BASIC interpreters. What has Ballmer ever done? I get the impression that if, say, his printer stopped working he'd be at a complete loss for what to do. Maybe he'd call the Geek Squad.

MW: average

Oct 02, 09 - 04:41 pm Comment from: iPhoner

@ Troy

If you want to make sure you're first, it's best to quickly type:

#1 and click submit.


But that's not all - the Ballmer edition also includes a new Microsoft Calculator. It automatically introduces Rounding Errors!

Oct 02, 09 - 04:45 pm Comment from: iPhoner

"... What has Ballmer ever done ..."

I was thinking yesterday that it was pretty jacked up that Ballmer was worth 3X as much as Jobs. Then I thought
about Jobs having 5 billion dollars and I was able to get back to sleep.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:48 pm Comment from: Sir Gill Bates

I wonder what color of crayon Ballmer will use.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:55 pm Comment from: JRoy

EEEWWW!
Am I glad that I didn't host one of those house parties.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:56 pm Comment from: hakalautom

Ballmer pack includes 10 throwable chairs.

Oct 02, 09 - 04:56 pm Comment from: Mr. Reeee

So, do you get a pre-sweat-soaked shirt with that?
How about a can of spray foam, for that rabid dog look?

Like Ballmer it may run in the morning but it will puke (BSOD) if it runs too long and will require reboot, i.e., time to rest.

The Steve Ballmer edition comes with an exclusive game: "How far can you throw that chair?!"

Oct 02, 09 - 05:17 pm Comment from: GregoriusM

Windows & launch party? Bizarre.

I swear- I saw the chick in the purple in a porn movie- damn- this is gonna bug me.

Oct 02, 09 - 05:25 pm Comment from: GregoriusM

... Windows 7

@ cptnkirk

Better yet, it's like having the captain of the Titanic autograph the iceberg.

Oct 02, 09 - 05:33 pm Comment from: iPhoner

This video totally cracks me up! I wouldn't even go to a Mac party.

Well ... I did wait in line for 5 hours to buy an iPhone so maybe I already did!

But man - this would be so odd to go to someones house and talk about a new OS all night long.

My friends would be like, "Dude, are you serious? You're having a Windows party? You're kidding me right? We're really going to the strip bar right? This is what we're gonna' tell the wives?"

Oct 02, 09 - 05:38 pm Comment from: Jubei

I would buy one only if the shaped the Windows 7 box, casted from his Big Ass, along with the pit marks thats sure to proliferate the texture. *BARF*

Oct 02, 09 - 05:50 pm Comment from: roguedog

You gotta be kiddin right? Is this for real? Gimme a break, yhis has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've eve heard of... a PARTY! for a figgin software upgrade!? These guys are seriously, SERIOULY delusional... sorry but I've had my fill of tupperware parties GEESH!

"The activities have you each talk for a minute or so, and you set something up so your guest can try.So for the rest of the party you just leave your computer on and running, and then you let folks mess around with it." -Soccer Mom in Purple

Now WHY THE HELL would ANYONE do something so absurd? :|

I have to give it to the posters so far ... I haven't laughed so hard in many a day.
A Windows party! What a boringly inane idea!
Who thought that one up!
What a way to lose friends really quickly. Even my diehard Windows friends [yes, there are a few of those about] think that this is a dumb idea.

Oct 02, 09 - 06:13 pm Comment from: Mormegil

Is it a requirement that one wears blue to windows party?

I just barf'd a little in my mouth.......

Happy talk with happy idiots. Talk about a forced. Jebus!

I thought of buying Windows to run BumpTop on my iMac. Then again, if I wait they will bring it to Mac. Zero Microsoftware on my system except the unused Arial.

Oct 02, 09 - 06:41 pm Comment from: Lilochris

Boring...!!!!!!!!!!!

Oct 02, 09 - 06:44 pm Comment from: January 24, 1984

Where does one begin? This is offensive on so many levels. But as Charlie Chaplin said, "In the end, everything is a gag."

That must be it.

I'll hold that belief dear.

Oct 02, 09 - 06:49 pm Comment from: Me In LA

This is SO the funniest shit ever!
I mean, how can MS even TRY to be this stupid?
It's classic.

This "news story" is truly "Onion-esque." Love it!

Oct 02, 09 - 07:15 pm Comment from: Greg L

Awwwe… she’s so cuuuute! All that contemporaneous, “gosh-golly-gee” banter between oh-so politically correct, racially mixed upper-middle-class good friends: it makes one want to put a finger down one’s throat and hurl to prevent the saccharine from pickling you from the inside out.

If Microsoft tried their best on purpose to look like un-cool, out-of-touch, über-dorks, they couldn’t top this.

@iLuvMyMacs

Bet you wish you had "facial" recognition software, huh?

Greg L, we are talking about MICROSOFT.... of COURSE they can top this...

every person here is a obviously marketed, the girl for example, who is good looking enough here for every one to like, but not so good looking that some people would hate her.

- Any one else here think Microsoft's marketers are purposefully torpedoing the company?

Oct 02, 09 - 08:03 pm Comment from: Cubert

@Goober1,
LOL!!!

@Greg L,
But notice how they are vague about if any of those 4 are couples. The older white lady could be the mother of the guy on the left. Or, maybe he just likes GILF's.

Wow, just wow. I don't even know what to say.

Oct 02, 09 - 08:36 pm Comment from: ken1w

The Steve Balmer special edition is called Windows 10 ("X"), because Windows 7 is a rounding error.

the balloons are BSOD coloured.

In the end, we must thank MS for being the butt of so much fantastic humor! All this laughter is quite healthy ; )

"Facial" recognition software!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

Oct 02, 09 - 09:08 pm Comment from: Mister Snitch

"Steve Ballmer edition of Windows 7"
Why does this make me think of Flying Monkeys, with Ballmer's face? I can even hear their theme music...

Oct 02, 09 - 09:13 pm Comment from: Mister Snitch

Geez, now I can see the Flying Monkeys being sent out the castle window by Ballmer, copies of Windows 7 in hand. "Fly, my Pretties! Fly!"

@Goober1
LOL

I've been crazy busy the last couple of weeks and this whole windows7 party / Ballmer super deluxe Win7 thing slid right past me. Did I emerge into some sort of bizzaro reality, like the old Superman comic books with the people with the blocked up faces? There is something horribly wrong with their marketing dept. Does it ever end? Is there a connection here with Balmer being the former marketing guy? Is there someone out there preparing for their win7 party at this very moment going through his/her checklist? In the end, they spent a boatload of money putting out this campaign and it makes my head spin and not in a good way.

Who cares about the stupid "Ballmer Edition"......did anyone just sit open mouthed at the freakin' video like me? W T F! That video ALONE sets Microsoft back 20 years!

Oct 02, 09 - 10:22 pm Comment from: Big Als MBP

How to reboot Windows 7.

Restart the computer.

How to reboot Windows 7 Steve Ballmer Edition.

Keep kicking the bastard while he's down.

I no longer have a craving for Churros.

Oct 02, 09 - 10:32 pm Comment from: MacRaven

When the Winduz 7 box is opened, like one of those Birthday cards, it screams: "I ..... LOVE ..... THIS ..... COMPANY ! EHYAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Now if they could get the wrapper to drip sweat too, priceless.