We haven’t heard much from bowling aficionado and RealNetworks CEO Rob Glaser since early March when he called Apple “deceptive for not explicitly telling customers that iTunes songs can’t be transferred easily to other devices,” so we thought we’d have some fun in the form of another Glaser photo captioning contest. Despite many calls for more, we haven’t had one since our Bono-Glaser photo caption contest last October.
So what if it’s one of those contests where nobody wins a “real” prize? Who cares! It’s fun anyway. Below is a photo of Rob Glaser, founder and CEO of RealNetworks, Inc. – let’s see what you can do with it!
Related MacDailyNews articles:
Real CEO Glaser calls Apple ‘deceptive’ with iTunes Music Store – March 07, 2005
Real CEO pitches to half empty room at tech symposium; Apple draws standing-room-only crowd – February 25, 2005
RealNetworks’ CEO Rob Glaser grabs 3 of top 10 spots on ‘Dumbest Moments in Business 2005’ list – January 31, 2005
Bono-Glaser photo caption contest now open – October 25, 2004
Real’s CEO Glaser: ‘Harmony’ hack legal, Mac lovers are very sensitive to Apple criticism, and more – September 14, 2004
Analyst: Rob Glaser’s ill-advised war against Apple ‘is going to bite RealNetworks on the ass’ – August 30, 2004
RealNetwork’s CEO Glaser crashes Apple’s music party – July 30, 2004
Real CEO Glaser: Steve Jobs’ comments on Real ‘not succeeding’ are ‘ridiculously humorous’ – April 29, 2004
NY Times: Real CEO Glaser was close to having ‘iPod’ before Apple, but let it ‘slip through his fingers – April 24, 2004
Real’s CEO Glaser: Apple’s iPod/iTunes combo ‘threatens to turn off consumers’ – April 20, 2004
Jobs to Glaser: go pound sand – April 16, 2004
Real CEO Glaser begs Apple to make iPod play nice with other music services – March 24, 2004
Real CEO Glaser: ‘iTunes is only going to be used for playing songs you bought using the iTunes store – January 16, 2004
“I want a donut this big!”
I downed a box of two dozen Krispy Kremes the day I saw iTunes running on this bathroom scale, er, I mean, Dell. Looks like a bathroom scale, huh? Not that I’ve ever used one.
I’m easy…
“OK, so I’m at Denny’s and I order two of the Grand Slams. You know, appetizers. Then Steve Ballmer sits down at the counter and asks me to fetch the catsup for him. And, I’m like, “hey, get it yourself, Tubby.” And he says, “Who you callin’ Tubby, Lardo…”
Tera Patricks
Mac360
“Let me show you this now, ladies and gentlemen. You can go onto Krispycremes.com, and just stare at pastries. Really. And the cool thing – get this – you can even have them delivered right to your door. So, in all reality you can actually eat one, or 3 at a time like me, and look at your next order… Isn’t technology fasinating?!”
“As you can tell from the enthusiasm on my face, I embrace mediocrity!”
If Apple’s marketshare for downloadable music is 10 miles long, this is how big our market share is.
While I pause for my Dell to reboot, imagine an 18-inch diameter Krispy Kreme, just imagine. Mmmmmm, giant doughnuts.
nothing up my sleeve…..PRESTO….i made real’s profits disappear
Holy F*%k! It worked! Our engineers are the best!
“I once ate a donut the size of my bowling ball!”
“My dad’s on fire, and I’m short three nickels!”
You just take two dozen Krispy Kremes like this and smash them together into what I like to call a “Neutron Doughnut.” Then I just pack it into my black hole and swallow. Dell-licious!
Please, folks, let’s try and skip the fat jokes. I’m a (fairly) skinny guy, and that’s just cruel. His arrogance and lack of CEO skill is enough of a target to keep us occupied.
Real will disappear soon enough.
My ego has now been deflated to about this big. I really want a donut about this big too. Anyone have one out there?
I designed it. It’s called the “Carb Loaders Diet.” I’ll give you the outline for free, but you can get the whole thing for $12.99 per month. I’ll remind you electronically every 5 minutes to subscribe, so you won’t forget.
When I heard of the latest podcasting news from Apple, and the new changes to the iPod lineup, something passed between me and my pants that was about this long.
“Whatever you do, don’t make any sudden moves. I don’t want this thing to crash”
I guess I’m going to have to insert a shoe about this big in my mouth and swallow it after making the dumb comments about Apple.
*In the best Joe Pesci voice in Lethal Weapon*, “Okay, okay, okay…our product works like this….”
You can see the whole thing on an Apple PowerBook screen. Hold on, I’ll scroll around… By the way, does anybody know where they put the Krispy Kremes? They told me there’d be Krispy Kremes!
“Real Player is a pile of crap thiiisss big!”
MW directly as in “Real is headed directly into the toilet”
“I have a number of announcements to make.
First, we are continuing to hemmorage our investors money with no immediate prospects of profitability on the horizon.
Second, we are seeing a number of subscription cancellations from customers who were able to successfully crack our security and keep the songs that they downloaded on their computers.
Third, it appears that Apple will be announcing their own subscription-based iTunes model within the next three months.
However, I do have some good news…….
I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico car insurance!
Can you believe that 30 years ago my waist was only this big?
If you can pinch an inch …buffering… yeah, right. I can pinch …buffering… this much!
“The doctor says my goiter will soon be THIS big.”