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I pledge to keep my Mac pure of Microsoft products.

Jul 15, 09 - 05:15 pm Comment from: Captain Obvious

that ship has sailed.

99 cents? are they trying to keep young people away from sex before married or are they trying to do some business?

In other news, the app comes complete with the helpful guide: "1001 Ways to Bend the Rule of Abstinence", complete with pictures and step-by-step instructions.

Lately those practicing abstinence have become synonymous with people practicing another kind of a-word behavior.

Jul 15, 09 - 05:24 pm Comment from: MacDave

Oh Jesus Chr.....wait, I mean Golly, that's ridiculous.

Cue lightning strike in 3...2...1...

Jul 15, 09 - 05:24 pm Comment from: dmdair

Ah come on give me a break. We don't need "an App for That!"

Jul 15, 09 - 05:31 pm Comment from: Jubei

I tried to buy it and a big fat message said: NO! App purchase DENIED! Hey how did they know??

Jul 15, 09 - 05:33 pm Comment from: Toasty

Damn, I guess this makes my Do Not Enter app I was developing useless now.

Jul 15, 09 - 05:33 pm Comment from: Mac Daddy

Faaaascinating.

“Dear Lord, give me chastity and self-restraint 
… but not yet, O Lord, not yet!”


Saint Augustine A.D. 354–430

Damn. I downloaded and gave the app a try. But it broke. Immediately. Is it just me?

Jul 15, 09 - 05:50 pm Comment from: Mr. Reeee

ROFLMFAO!

Ah, the wonder of mediaeval values!

Coming next... a Spanish Inquisition app for those who break the chastity pledge...

@Sarasota... now THAT'S a vow of chastity I can stick to!

Jul 15, 09 - 05:52 pm Comment from: TowerTone

F*ck THAT!!!

Jul 15, 09 - 05:59 pm Comment from: Ron Robertson

Maybe if they'd worry about their brains instead of their genitalia they might come up with a worthwhile app. All these religions and their creepy obsession with other people's sex lives.

Jul 15, 09 - 06:02 pm Comment from: Toasty

I believe the idea of the ring is that its ever present. You see it on your hand all the time. If you have to look at your phone to remind you not to screw, you probably shouldn't be doing it with that person in the first place.

Jul 15, 09 - 06:04 pm Comment from: MacDave

@Toasty,

There is an entire male heterosexual market for that.

Jul 15, 09 - 06:05 pm Comment from: Mr. Reeee

How about some iPhone app for the 21st Century!

Show these kids how to use condoms and other forms of birth control! Especially after they blow those vows.

And, oh yes, they WILL blow them.
And WHEN they blow them, they'll need an app for that... iHead.

Those app ideas just keep coming and coming and coming...

Jul 15, 09 - 06:07 pm Comment from: Mr. Reeee

@Ron Robertson...

LOL.

iStroke? iChoke? iWank? iCrank?

I want to see the Apple commercial for that app:

"What if you want to promise not to have hot, sweaty, anonymous lusty sex in the elevator at the college library? There's an app for that."

Where is the internet filter for Safari on the iPhone? Maybe Apple could just allow someone to build a 3rd party browser that locks into a proxy server that manages the filtering. Parental controls will do no good unless there is a way to protect children and addicts from all the internet Porn out there.

Jul 15, 09 - 06:30 pm Comment from: BC Kelly

Well, some say Confession is Good for The Soul

Better if Public, Give a Witness, Testify

Ok, let's see


"Forgive Me Lord for I Have Sinned"


My First Time

Church Picnic


(yea, for real)

Jul 15, 09 - 06:35 pm Comment from: BC Kelly

Saying that got me so upset, click wrong button


Ok, now got that out of way


Is ok, she said "Yes"

Well, least never said "No"



We were Kids, is Natural Biology

Which is what this is all about

Good Luck




BC

...and I thought the fart app was stupid.

Do you get to masturbate at least?

...but I might use before I'd use the Microsoft store locator app.

Jul 15, 09 - 06:55 pm Comment from: Zaphod

What a waste of code!

If someone wants to buy the app, let them alone! It's none of your business.

Jul 15, 09 - 07:04 pm Comment from: Gordon Horne

@Troy,

The rings cost $20-$50 depending on supplier and design. The original producer of the rings, The Silver Ring Thing (Pennsylvania Evangelical Church) has received over a million dollars in US government money to support their ring program. The people distributing the rings are definitely not out of pocket at the end of the day.

Jul 15, 09 - 07:07 pm Comment from: Road Warrior

This is a fantastic app, and I am sure others will be released.

After a year of owning this app you will get a bonus discount on "How to propose" app.

After two years of owning this app you will be a bonus discount on a "Keeping it precious" app. How to eat the right foods so that your bodily fluids can keep the ring shiny.

The "confess" app. This will be a great app, for not only will you be able to confess over the phone, priests will be able to recruit for the perfect candidates for priesthood. Give a whole new meaning to stroking my precious.

The "breed" app. This will work in conjuction with the "time" app so that once you hit 30 a foetus will appear with a message "you better get suckered, uh I mean married soon if you want to keep precious."

People should consider that marriage and monogamy are man made conceptions and perhaps not the ones that the supreme being intended. After all Solomon got a slap on the wrist for having too many wives, not being a bigamist.

Jul 15, 09 - 07:07 pm Comment from: TowerTone

Palm's 'before marriage' app takes a different route.
It's called 'Pre Nuts You All' and has a vibrate mode.

Jul 15, 09 - 07:11 pm Comment from: TowerTone

Pre Nuts-You-All, by Palm

much simpler.

"It features settings for both genders," - does that mean abstaining FROM both genders, not just FOR both genders?

Jul 15, 09 - 07:16 pm Comment from: Spudly

Anything that stops religious people from reproducing is alright by me!

Jul 15, 09 - 07:35 pm Comment from: james73

maybe bristol palin will be their spoke women. isn't she an "ambassador" for abstinence, even though she didn't remain chaste and pure?

(yes, i went there.)

Jul 15, 09 - 07:36 pm Comment from: TowerTone

Spudly
That's what they say about liberals that have abortions.
Wait. No they don't.

Jul 15, 09 - 07:44 pm Comment from: TowerTone

Right, james@15
that would be like having former criminals, alcoholics, or drug addicts testify about bad choices.

Had to get a dig, though, didn't you?

Jul 15, 09 - 07:51 pm Comment from: Eric

religious freaks

Jul 15, 09 - 07:53 pm Comment from: db

@TowerTone

I don't think there's anything wrong with somebody making a mistake and owning up to it (i.e. drug addicts testifying, etc.)

But parading around that you're going to make sure you NEVER do drugs, and then turning around and getting a picture of your track marks posting in a national rag shows that promising you'll abstain from drugs is useless drivel.

Insert any other thing where "drugs" was written, and you'll understand the Palin joke.

Jul 15, 09 - 07:58 pm Comment from: Frank

Sponsored by: The Jonas Bros. and rabid tween followers

Jul 15, 09 - 08:00 pm Comment from: alansky

Let the Christina zealots abstain until they drop dead. The world certainly doesn't need people like that reproducing!

Killbill wins the thread. Well done.

-jcr

Jul 15, 09 - 08:09 pm Comment from: Ottawa Mark

I do trust the MDN gang are only fiscal conservatives...because this concept is too funny to be enjoyed anyway else but ironically!

Jul 15, 09 - 08:12 pm Comment from: james73

TowerTone,

Well, like I said in parentheses, yes I went there. Mind you, my statement is as ridiculous, and pointless, as this app, and the whole purity ring phenomena.

I'm certain that I wasn't the only one thinking it, I'm just the one that expressed it.

Jul 15, 09 - 08:36 pm Comment from: shen

I bet this one works as well as the real thing....

Think they can make an abstinace only sex ed. podcast too? That would be just super!

iLame.

Jul 15, 09 - 08:43 pm Comment from: qka

Another take on the Purity ring thing....

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1565

Jul 15, 09 - 09:04 pm Comment from: james73

from the wikipedia article on the purity ring

David Bario, a reporter in the Chicago Tribune, Rutland Herald, and several other news websites wrote:[1]

"Under the Bush administration, organizations that promote abstinence and encourage teens to sign virginity pledges or wear purity rings have received federal grants. The Silver Ring Thing, a subsidiary of a Pennsylvania Evangelical Church, has received more than $1 million from the government to promote abstinence and to sell its rings in the United States and abroad."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against abstinence, I'm just a realist.

I also know people who took these pledges when they were in high school at their churches. Some of them did it just to please their parents, since they had lost their "purity" sometime before making such pledge. Others did everything else except intercourse, well at least until they moved away and went to college.

I have a former roommate who dated this morman chick for a year, she was saving it for marriage, but that didn't stop them from having intercourse--they just had the kind that would get her pregnant and allowed her to still "claim" to be a virgin. He broke up with her cause she kept pressuring him to marry her, and as a divorced father it was the last thing he wanted to do. His nick name for her was "back door betty" the only reason why he stayed with her for as long as he did.

Jul 15, 09 - 09:16 pm Comment from: james73

would in my last post should read wouldn't. damn you typooosss!!

Abstinence makes the heart (and other organs) grow fonder.

@james73,

Actually, given the propensity of bodily fluids to flow, and the relative colocation of the body orifices in question, what your former roommate & his chick did was not a guarantee she wouldn't get pregnant. It only takes one, you know. It only reduced the probability she would get pregnant, although apparently it reduced it enough over the course of the year to be effective.

But this whole discussion is kinda off topic. Everyone else, please forgive me.

Jul 15, 09 - 09:40 pm Comment from: james73

If I promise to abstain from posting anymore on this thread. can I get an app, or a ring for that?